🌻 Little wholesome tip this week: 
if you wake up scared in the middle of the night, just think about bakers x
🥐🥹

Dear Margie,
How do you get better at putting yourself first? I had a bit of a rough patch with a friend recently and have been reflecting a lot. I've been reflecting on a lot of my past friendships and have been noticing a lot of things retrospectively that I never thought anything of at the time. Now, in hindsight, I'm realising that actually a lot of my past friends have behaved incredibly hurtfully and treated me quite badly. I realised that it's because I always put other people before me, and have trouble standing up for myself because I've never thought that I deserved anything more. Now that I'm reflecting on this for the first time, I'm gutted that I was naive enough to let myself be treated so poorly for all those years and not notice, and now it's like I'm processing over a decade of repressed hurt feelings all at once. How do I cope, and what can I do be secure in my self-worth from now on so that I stop choosing friends who don't make me feel good?
—
Hey hun,
Big hugs to you, I’m so sorry you had to go though that 💗 Please don’t be gutted for allowing yourself to be treated that way - have empathy for that version of yourself who was just doing the best you could with what you knew at the time 💕 We can all look back on our past and feel shame and regret at not standing up for ourselves, but the important thing is that you’re aware of it now and you can start setting boundaries for your future friendships to ensure it doesn’t happen to you again hun. If it helps to process the emotions, try doing a brain dump of all your feelings, then list what boundaries you’ll set from now on. The approval of your mates will never be more important than breaking your own boundaries, so try to remember that the next time you feel uncomfortable or like you’re compromising at the expense of your own feelings. I had a mate who used to want to hang out all the time, and even though I can be a bit introverted I would agree because I felt like she needed the company hun. Then when she was doing better, I asserted myself a little more and she wasn’t understanding of my reasons for not wanting to hang out at all. I realised it wasn’t a mutually beneficial relationship and once I wasn’t there for her on a whim she had no interest in me anymore - so the friendship faded out. Me 10 years ago would have just put up with her demands, but the me today spotted the signs early on that my boundaries weren’t being respected and I knew when to withdraw my energy. You are also gaining this clarity now hun! Whenever you have the feeling someone isn’t “for you” think about what it is about them that makes you uncomfortable, and decide if it’s something that you can talk to them about and set a boundary - or if you’re just not compatible as mates. Some people can cater to both high maintenance and low maintenance mates, while others can only cope with low maintenance mates - so find out what friendships work for you. A true friend will always respect you for who you are, and it won’t feel like a power struggle. Remind yourself you never have to settle for any friendship where you are not valued or respected, and that it is a privilege to be your friend! There is a version of you who exists in the future who is laughing ‘til she can’t breathe with mates who love her unconditionally! Every positive boundary you set only brings you closer to those mates. You are 100% enough just as you are hun, and I promise you won’t always feel like this 💞 

Love your mate,
Margie xxx
If you want to submit a question to Dear Margie you can hit reply huns. Make sure you mention your question is for the hunmail - otherwise I won’t assume permission to share it. I’m so sorry I don’t have the capacity to get back to everyone at the minute💓 x

Every week me nan selects a tip from one of her real life magazines especially for the huns! This week’s tip:

Cue you stumbling in from a night out, absolutely steaming and knocking a glass of water all over your bed OR trying to explain to whoever it is you’ve brought home with you why there’s a chair on your bed with a glass of water on top of it, while they make excuses to leave OR if you own cats… you see where this is going, don’t you huns? x

Margie, Give Me Something to…

👀 Watch

Beauty Queen Or Bust
This 2014 documentary series features girls from deprived towns in the UK competing in regional beauty pageants in Blackpool, Hull, and Wolverhampton. The regional pageants provide the first step towards qualifying for the Miss England pageant and then representing England in Miss World. The girls featured all have big dreams beyond where they grew up and I was rooting for all them huns! 💕 It’s impossible not to. Defo worth a watch! All 3 episodes are on that YouTube channel x

📚 Read :

Know My Name - Chanel Miller
*Trigger warning - sexual assault*
When Brock Turner was given a disgustingly short sentence of 6 months for raping and sexually assaulting an unconscious female student behind a dumpster at a frat party, a victim impact statement from the girl known only then as ‘Emily Doe’ went viral on Buzzfeed news - getting 11 million views in 4 days. Three years later Chanel Miller reclaimed her identity to tell the world her experience in this powerful memoir. It’s a difficult but incredible read huns, highly recommend x

For any huns who missed it, I have a Spotify playlist with all of my favourite tracks - perfect for a bop around your room or a cleaning spree 🥰 I’m always adding new songs too so ya don’t get bored x

🌟Join Me + huns from UK, Ireland, America, Australia, Canada, Hungary & Belgium!🌟

Margie’s Question of the week 💬

Last week I asked - ‘Have you ever had a spiritual experience? Something a bit ‘woo-woo’ or unexplainable?’  and you had some weird, scary and comforting answers huns! 💕

‘Maybe not so spiritual but still freaked me well out! me and my girlfriend at the time had matching rose quartz bracelets that we had worn everyday for likely over a year, we worked and did everything with them on and not once had they ever broken and came close. one EXACT week before we split up for good, whilst i was at working doing nothing more than usual the bracelet completely snapped and exploded!!! everywhere!! and then we broke up a week later, something in me tells me that it was a sign especially with it being crystals, it was so so crazy to me, almost like the energy for the relationship had left and it was completely out of our control!‘

‘Something unexplainable what happened to me margie was once me and my friend went and stayed in a hotel! In the middle of the night I kept feeling a tapping on my shoulder which was away from him and I woke up and shouted at him as I was annoyed and he told me he was dead asleep and got annoyed at me as he didn't do it. He then got freaked out and shut the cupboard door and the next morning we woke up and it was open!! We left as soon as we could and researched it as it was an old hotel and apparently it was haunted! Dead weird people have had the same experience‘

‘My sisters, mam, boyfriend and I were in the kitchen one xmas having the chats and listening to Irish trad music on an ipad, my brother had passed away a few years previous and we were all talking about how we we wished he was here with us. I put on a song by Luke Kelly on the Youtube iPad App and i’m not even joking, the page scrolled down to the comments section by itself and a comment popped out that my brother had left on that exact video 11 years ago, saying how he hoped Luke Kelly was having a good time in heaven. We couldn’t believe it!! What a way for my bro to let us know he was with us in that moment 😭💞’

‘When I was a kid we lived in a house that was a lil’ bit creepy and unexplainable stuff had happened while I lived there. One night I was in bed and I could just feel like there was someone standing next to me. Then I heard the loudest bang and I screamed and hit the lights on and all my drawers were open!! Another time my dad and uncle were in the kitchen and my dad asked if my uncle wanted a cup of tea and the kettle switched itself on!! Safe to say we didn’t live there very long’

Next week’s question is “Have you ever engaged in any petty theft as a child or teen, and what did you take?” - Hit reply to this hunmail if you’ve got a story to share with the huns! 💓

Psssst…If you ever want to read all my past Hunmails you can do that here! Just enter your subscribed email to ‘login’ and it will send you a link to read them.

Thank you for all the feedback huns, it’s always welcome and always appreciated 💕 Have a lush week!
Love, your mate Margie xxx